How To Help An Alcoholic
After several days of research with the question: how to help an alcoholic? and no clear answer
I knew I should do something for those who need help, I will give some suggestions and ideas that helped me quit drinking and I hope that is helpful for people who want to learn how to help an alcoholic.
How to help an alcoholic Do not let it remain a secret. secrets have no light. in the darkness and hiding is where the sickness of alcoholism is strongest. This provokes shame and the shame encourages and provokes more willing and desire to drink in the victim.
Examples of not allowing the alcoholic disease remain as a secret:
I think you are drinking too much lately, dew you think you could stop for me? and see if you fell better.
Do not put to much pressure. The trick is to not let the potential victim of alcoholism keep it in a secret shame, to shame the victim is not watt we want.
Believe me, if you place to much pressure on the alcoholic and make him fell under a lot of strain and judge him to the limit it will make things much worse plus his addiction to alcohol will become stronger and his craving for alcohol will be even stronger, you must find a more indirect way of talking to the alcoholic and chose the correct moment to interfere and put your foot down on your loved ones sickness.
If it is hard for you to believe that the alcoholism sickness is just a mind power issue and that if you make the victim fell shameful and weak and you think that if you provoke shame on the sick one will help please keep reading because the only thing that that is going to dew is make things much worse and drive the alcoholic further into addiction, when I used to be a alcoholic I used to drink for every cause but if they shamed me about mi alcoholism, that was the worse i would shrink and hide myself deeper in mi hole where I had less possibilities of coming across help, just think about this would you make fun of someone sick with cancer? no of course not, then think of a alcoholic as a sick person and not as someone with week mind power.
Do not judge him but make shore you make plenty of offers and leave all the possibilities open so that he can grasp hold of them when he is ready, to make the offer in the right moment is fundamental, therefore you must know the victim, the better you know the victim the ore chance you have he will be willing to accept that he needs help or that he needs to dew something drastic about his alcoholism sickness.
In lots off occasions I was completely open and receptive for a treatment, and this used to happen after critical situations, for example after yelling and braking things up in front of mi wife and kids, or after driving drunk and smashing mi car.
After hard crisis like these was when I was more receptive to going into treatment and was more open minded about mi alcohol problem and really wanted to stop it but it may take lots of situations like these to finally go into treatment and you must be there to give the opportunity and guide him into becoming sober and get treatment.
note: dew not approach a alcoholic during one of his crisis or when he is drunk, you must wait till he is sober again and talk to him about it in a psychological way.
Some suggestions on how to help a alcoholic after one of his crisis:
Find out when and where in your area your alcoholics anonymous have matings and necessary take the alcoholic there, or find out when he could go talk to a expert and find out how those matings are in that area, talking to a expert is a good idea as they have more of a feeling on how to get to the alcoholics feelings in a right way plus it is easier to get into a discussion with a family member that the alcoholic is used to get into arguments with and that is not what we want, bi talking to a expert or ex alcoholic there are less possibilities of getting into a argument as he will approach him in a new manner.
Remember your purpose of being there for the alcoholic is to give him the right road for him to get, but this road is the most important road you will make in al of the alcoholics life.
You must believe that what you are doing you are doing wright and believe in yourself, the results are not our foul. although this reality mite be hard to assimilate especially if you are a close friend or family member of the alcoholic.
They offered me help in countless occasions and I did note take it, but finally there was a day that I took it and I was willing to go into treatment, you must be there and give him the extra push.
Alcohol was mi best friend till one day I realized that he had ben putting me down and killing me slowly for years, but during mi addiction years alcohol did not judge me and gave me the feeling of having control over situations, for example I did not the guts to talk to a girl before I had a bunch of drinks and after I had taken those drinks I could not stop so I would keep drinking and end up bi myself getting into fights, there was no limit when it got to consuming alcohol and it would go from bad to worse each time I would get drunk.
What does a alcoholic dew when his biggest problem is his only solution?
They seek other solutions, some of the solutions they choose may be, suicide or just drink more then before turning this into a dangerous vicious circle.
I found mi solution thanks to the many possibilities that where offered to me, the first one I got hold of was going to a alcoholics anonymous center and getting help from a experienced professional, the fundamental steps for a person that wants to help a alcoholic is that they must believe that for every alcoholic there is a cure. you must not force him into situations but be shore to open the door when the situation is appropriate, take slow but firm steps if necessary.
The final words about alcoholism:
Alcoholism is a treatable sickness and it centers most of its strain on its victims mind.
No one can force a alcoholic into treatment but if you are a close relative of the alcoholics you can help him cure his sickness and stop drinking, and this is the message that we must give him.
I often see alcoholism as a battle, the alcoholism sickness will make him use everything possible to isolate him from all possible help, his sickness will manipulate him, lie and destroy his best relations, therefore we must fight the alcoholics battle on a different level, if we fight back in the same way he fights us we will always end up loosing the battle.
We still love our family members or our friends affected by alcoholism, we must listen and try to understand why they talk about there problems but we must not let the sickness lie to us and maintain secret.
We must be honest in the face of the alcoholic and not let his sickness place excuses and get away with lies or the alcoholics rules, this must not happen.
But in the mean time we must be at peace with ourselves and in occasions seek help for use before we can correctly help the alcoholic and the only way to find this out is by trying, but be patient things some times take longer then one would wish, at last we can not place hope and courage in somebody if we are have not found it yet for ourselves.